…Please forgive me.
(And she’s giving the middle finger because I couldn’t pause at the right moment so I gave up)
I laughed harder than I should have
Look at this little turd-head. She’s pulled the mattress cover off the bed so she can nest in the elasticky edge.
If corals get stressed they die, so if I was coral I would be dead
what do coral even get stressed about
guys, i work at an aquarium and my coworkers and i have literally laughed at this for three days straight. everytime we pass each other we whisper “current events” and crack up. our customers think we are nuts.
Jon Stewart Goes After Fox in Powerful Ferguson Monologue
I been waiting for the daily show to come back so they could cover this
Jon rip them boys a new asshole
See, Jon Stewart usually does a lot of satirical humour, but at this point, the writers are just like “fuck the comedy this shit is real” and I was so happy to see that they finally covered this, and it was really well done.
this set makes me feel really content.
THIS IS IMPORTANT
was that my hair or is there a spider crawling on me
Instead of waiting in her tower, Rapunzel slices off her long, golden hair with a carving knife, and then uses it to climb down to freedom.
Just as she’s about to take the poison apple, Snow White sees the familiar wicked glow in the old lady’s eyes, and slashes the evil queen’s throat with a pair of sewing scissors.
Cinderella refuses everything but the glass slippers from her fairy godmother, crushes her stepmother’s windpipe under her heel, and the Prince falls madly in love with the mysterious girl who dons rags and blood-stained slippers.
Persephone goes adventuring with weapons hidden under her dress.
Persephone climbs into the gaping chasm.
Or, Persephone uses her hands to carve a hole down to hell.
In none of these versions is Persephone’s body violated unless she asks Hades to hold her down with his horse-whips.
Not once does she hold out on eating the pomegranate, instead biting into it eagerly and relishing the juice running down her chin, staining it red.
In some of the stories, Hades never appears and Persephone rules the underworld with a crown of her own making.
In all of them, it is widely known that the name Persephone means Bringer of Destruction.
Red Riding Hood marches from her grandmother’s house with a bloody wolf pelt.
Medusa rights the wrongs that have been done to her.
Eurydice breaks every muscle in her arms climbing out of the land of the dead.
Girls are allowed to think dark thoughts, and be dark things.
Instead of the dragon, it’s the princess with claws and fiery breath
who smashes her way from the confines of her castle
and swallows men whole.